One of the authors of a paper I’m working on is called "Hurtubise". I can’t help but pronounce his name with a French accent in my head. Heeuuuuurtubeeeeze.

If he was my rival for the affections of a woman I wouldn’t pull any punches. Dirt would get thrown. I’d make a youtube video of Boy George’s classic "Do you really want to hurt me", but change the chorus lyrics to "Do you really want Hurtubise". I might not end up with the woman of our dreams, but after she sees that video, neither would he. Scorched earth, baby.