I’m pleased to announce the release of my new card-drawing game Infosec.

The rules of the game are simple. It is for two or more players. The player with the fewest friends is the Infosec Expert; the other players are the Coworkers.

To start, the Infosec Expert deals three cards face down from a standard deck of cards. The Coworker on the Infosec Expert’s right hand should draw one card.

"Which card?" the Coworker may ask.

"This is a simple phishing exercise," the Infosec Expert should reply. "Just pick a card."

"But they all look the same," the Coworker may object.

"Draw one. And get it right."

This exchange should go on in increasingly hostile tones until the Coworker agrees to draw a card. It will have been the wrong card. The Infosec Expert should inform the Coworker:

"You got phished. You moron. You fucking idiot. You’re such a goddamn waste of space and time. How could you have gotten this so wrong? Were you even trying? Answer me. What the fuck was that?"

Feel free to ad-lib along these lines, or draw as many cards as you want from the accompanying Admonishment Deck (expansion packs available). Include ad-hominem attacks and use as many personal details as you know. Interrupt the Coworker if they try to reply. Don’t hold back.

Once the Coworker is silent, the Infosec Expert should collect the cards, deal new ones, and proceed to the next Coworker in line.

The game ends with the Infosec Expert’s victory when all the Coworkers have left.